We had to go back to Greenland. Last summer’s kayak trip was an unforgetable experience for all of us. Andras, Petya, Beni and I headed to East Greenland, which is
- different from where we were last year
- colder than South Greenland
- carries a much higher chance of being eaten by a polar bear.
In other words it has all the makings of a perfect vacation.
The good thing about being on top of the food chain is that we have rifles. Or at least we thought we could rent one from Robert Peroni. Robert, a 74 year old mountaineer/explorer has faced the world’s highest peaks, most arid deserts and has crossed Greenland’s ice sheet several times. These days the excitement in his life comes from whiny German tourists who complain about leaky sinks and threatening Trip Advisor reviews of his hotel in Tasiilaq, Greenland.
Robert rented us a gun and gave it to Andras. I only saw it wrapped in generous layers of trash bag and duct tape a week later. During the trip I thought if a polar bear was to attack our camp it would take me at least a half an hour to unwrap the gun, which coincidentally is the same amount of time a polar bear needs to dismember a human. Luckily during the trip I did not realize that the gun was at least 200 years old and pretty much unsuitable for anything other than adding extra weight to your kayak.
Robert’s assistant and right hand woman, Marion added some excitement to day one. She didn’t know who we were and what we wanted when we showed up in town. She was as warm and hospitable as an iceberg. She was the kind of person you just wanted to ask: ”Who hurt you?”
She told us that she doesn’t have our reserved kayaks and generally why do we bother her during a busy day. She also explained that we can’t be transported to Quernertivativiq to rendéz-vous with Andras and Petya because it was Sunday.
Beni and I took matters in our own hands, proceeded to find two kayaks in town, hired a friendly fisherman with an unseaworthy vessel and headed to the abandoned village of Quernertivativiq.